I can`t stand this whole situation of you not talking to me.. I think i`m turning into a psycho and I feel like i`m gonna go out and do something stupid. I hope you realize that i`m hurt, broken and downing. I don`t know why I keep myself miserable just to show you how much I want to be with you. You don`t even want to try and realize it. I remember getting stupid anonymous`, saying that you never wanted to be with me again, you never will see me as your girlfriend anymore, etc.. and it`s sickening to argue about it to me, telling me not to worry about what other people say when they were the ones who were right. I should have known from the beginning you came back to me that you were just a joke. Crazy of me to think that we would be back together again, after 10 months of waiting for you to be officially mine again, till this day. I don`t know what to think anymore. You think it`s okay for you to come back and go away whenever you want? Fuck that. It`s never okay. You think you only have feelings? Fuck that. For me to cry over you, mope about you, pretending things are okay.. And for you to know exactly how i`m feeling till this very day and you not doing jack shit about it, IS NOT OKAY. I cried to you on the phone. I begged you to come back. I showed you how much I fuckin cared and loved you. All I got from you WAS all jokes, games. Basically nothing in return to show me that you cared for me from the start. You played me and my feelings big time. And it`s stupid of me to keep chasing you after all the bullshit we went through with each other. Ever since you left, I forgot the feeling of being truly happy. Couple months back, after you left me when you finally came back, everything was going good. Then everything just went downhill a couple months later. I always asked myself what went wrong. I always asked myself why me? When we`d argue about it, you`d say I can leave and find someone else or just wait. I told you I was gonna wait for you no matter what. And you already know that waiting. For you to ignore me, avoid me and to leave me behind just for now, just because you know i`m gonna wait for you.. Is definitely not okay. One day i`m just gonna completely shut you out of my life. And if you cared, you`d wonder everyday why I did so, with so many questions running through your head. Like how many questions are running through my mind at this exact moment wondering where I went wrong for us to be this way. I hate this. You recently started working. I get that you want to help your family out. But whatever happened to texting me, calling me to check up on me? You told me not to worry about anything.. And look, it`s like you completely shut me out of your life. If you didn`t want to deal with me anymore, you could`ve been straight up. Instead you just left me, like nothing. The fact you always tell me we could just be friends, it`s not easy to hear that. I cant “just be friends” with you. And the fact you always call me be my first name.. I honestly die a little inside. I`m just not used to it. I would tell you all this that i`m typing right now.. But you`re not talking to me and even if we were talking and I told you this, you wouldn`t even bother to care…
smilee girl , you deserve to be happy. dont let no guys do this to you (;
